It is not a secret that I am multi-racial. I love when people guess my ethnicity, or can’t guess it and I am able to take the time to inform them of my background. I would say that my mix is rare. I do not know anyone else besides my 2 cousins on my dad’s side that are the same ethnic mix that I am. So I thought I would share a little bit of my background, and my family history. When asked what my ethnicity is, I say Mexican and Polynesian. My mother is of Mexican-American decent and my father is of Tongan and Hawaiian decent. My mother is a proud Mexican-American. I say American because it is impossible to track my family to Mexico unless you go back at least 6 generations. My mother grew up in a semi-traditional Mexican household, about 15 years after the Chicano movement, in Stockton, California. My father was born in Oahu Hawai’i, to a Tongan father and a native Hawaiian/Portuguese mother. He moved to the mainland, (Los Angeles, CA) when he was about 10 years old and recalled having a hard time fitting in, and assimilating with the kids in school. No one else was Polynesian. No one even knew what a Tongan was or where Tonga was.
My nona is from California, and my papa from New Mexico. My papa is a Vietnam veteran who served in the air-force. Both my grandparents attended UOP in Stockton, and became teachers. My nona is still very active in the Latina/Latino academic community. Although both my grandparents spoke Spanish, they unfortunately never taught their 2 kids. They had kids at a time when it was not popular to speak Spanish. So my grandparents tried to assimilate into the Mexican-American culture at a time when discrimination was prominent among Hispanics, Latinx, and Mexicans in California. Nevertheless my grandparents were proud of their culture. I grew up with my moms parents, we lived with them for the first years of my life, and then years later. I have fond memories of my nona making my favorite Mexican dish, Albondigas, and watching her novela’s all night long. Today I will happily tune into some novel’s with her. One of our family traditions includes making tamales during Christmas time. I can recall being 5 years old watching, helping, and eating olives when the tamale factory was going on. I would give a half dozen or so tamales away to my teacher’s and my principle from Kindergarten to 8th grade during Christmas time as a gift and they loved our Tamales!
My grandfather on my dad’s side was a Tongan immigrant who grew up in the city in Tonga, he had a thick Tongan accent, and spoke broken English. My grandmother is a Native Hawaiian woman, mixed with Portuguese & Chinese. She was born and raised in Maui, Hawai’i but moved to Oahu to attend college and raise her family. My dad’s side was very religious and also tried to keep with cultural traditions. My grandma taught me and my 3 cousins a hula dance to perform at my uncle’s wedding when we were very young, it is tradition to perform at wedding’s, almost like a gift to a family member. For my graduation party I performed a tau'olunga or a traditional Tongan dance. It is a traditional Tongan dance that is usually performed for weddings by the bride, or for any special occasions by a female member of the family. A tapa is worn, a traditional Tongan Mat & the exposed body is covered in oil. While dancing people come up and place money on you, or throw money at you and are invited to dance with you. It was so cool to learn and perform this in front of my friends and family.
Thanksgiving was a little different in my family. Ever since I can remember I have always had 2 Thanksgiving celebrations, two easters, and split Christmas up between my mom and dad’s side. (My parents are still very much together, but both sides liked to do something for the holiday’s.) Thanksgiving Day was designated for my immediate family, which included my nona and papa, parents, and siblings. The following weekend we would celebrate with my dads side. It was tradition for the men and boys of the family to wake up at the crack of dawn to dig a nice hole, warm hot rocks/coals, prep banana leaves, and set up an underground oven in the backyard of my grandparents house. We call this underground oven an umu. If you have never had a whole turkey cooked in an umu you are truly missing out! I have a funny memory of being asked by my principle in grade school if my family cooked their turkey underground. I was surprised and kinda embarrassed when the other kids in class turned their heads in confusion, and surprise! I hesitantly replied yes, and my principle exclaimed that he needed some of that turkey himself! Lol He said, “Next year I need an invite!” That was one of the first times I experienced a cultural/ethnic inner battle. Not a lot of my peers knew I was mixed, they were not familiar with Polynesians either. To share my traditions so openly to people who were unaware was very personal, but I am glad I was able to do so.
When I was born my mother (Who decided to keep her last name) felt very strongly about her kids also carrying her last name. My father, being the easy going Aquarius that he is, agreed but ONLY if our last names were NOT hyphenated. My middle name is Tongan and my legal last name consists of both my mom’s and dad’s family names. I have always identified as both ethnicities. Luckily I did not have a very hard time distinguishing between them as a child, or a teenager. I could never recall a time I had to pick one over the other, or was ever challenged to prove how much I am of one ethnicity. As of recently I have been asked which side I identify with more, and I can truthfully say I cannot pick a side. I have never felt like I had to prove anything, because I know who I am at the end of they day, and I am very proud to be multi-racial, and multi-cultural. I know for some bi-racial, and multi-cultural people however, it may be a struggle to distinguish what and who they are, or stressful to have to pick between sides. I just want to conclude with a message to my multi-cultural / bi-racial people that they do not owe it to anyone to prove their ethnicities, or choose a side! You are who you are, and you are unique because of it!
Love always,
-Jeane R. Tui
